Story told by Vicki W.

Honeybear never got me up during the night, unless she was having some trouble with her tummy. She did have a tummy problem, and had had it for several years... On Monday night on Nov. 3rd, she got me up 7 times. I had noticed her drinking more water, and we were outside together a lot during the day... she was never far from me, ever..  I noticed she was going just for very short times, but frequently... and I called the vet to see about bringing her in...  

They did the urinalysis, and the vet told me then, that she did not have a kidney infection... I was sure that was what she had from her drinking more water, and frequent urinations... well, that started this ball going. They ran some blood work, and were afraid to give her an antibiotic, cause she wanted to do some more blood work the next morning, without her eating anything first. So we went in on Thursday morning. They drew blood for a chem panel, then injected a dye, then waited an hour and drew blood again. By this time, the vet had decided she could possibly have hyper-adrenal disease, Cushing's...  But she tested negative...  So again, we didn't know what was wrong.  

But one of her liver enzymes came back at 987. She had all these same tests run over 3 and 1/2 years ago, when she was really sick, and so we compared them. Then this same test was at 220...   well, Honeybear wasn't going out so often anymore, but she wasn't eating much either... so again, on Thursday morning, we did some more bloodwork... the liver enzyme that time had gone to 1587... well, that was a huge, huge difference from the week before... The vet told me we really should go to A&M and let them do sonograms and see if they could find out what was wrong, that she could get Honeybear in on Monday at 2 p.m.  if I was interested in taking her... I said we would be there... she told me she knew we would and had already booked it... so... we were planning on going on Monday...  

However, on Thursday night the 13th, I believe, she had a really really bad night... she just kept circling around, she couldn't get comfortable... she would lay down, and get right back up, she would stretch upwards, and lean her head over, she would lean to the side and slide down, and get back up and move somewhere else... It was constant... I knew she was hurting... I did everything I could think of to make her comfortable, gave her a Deramax. and that seemed to help some... Early the next morning I called our vet and told them she had a really bad night, and they told me they would get her in to A&M that day on an emergency visit... to just go...go....go... so I went... Honeybear and me...

We went over all of her history, our vet had faxed them copies of her records, and I had copies of some of the tests... Then Dr. Nolan came in and checked Honeybear. All the while Honeybear is a real trooper, wagging her tail, loving every minute, even though she hadn't eaten anything at all. Then they did the x-rays. Her liver and her spleen were very very enlarged......The spleen had wrapped around her left side, and the liver didn't even have much definition to it. They shaved her tummy and did the sonogram. It showed she had cancer in her liver and spleen...... That could be one of three cancers. Only one could be treated with chemotherapy. That if it was two of them, with or without chemo we were looking at 2-6 months. If  it was the other one, it would be weeks... So... I finally got over enough of the shock that I could ask a few questions, about the first one, the one that was so bad... Malignant Histiocytosis... That that would account as to why there was so much in the liver and spleen... that the liver filters the blood, and it would act sort of a collection point... sort of... only some still of course goes on through... I knew in my heart and my soul, but she said they were doing cultures and we wouldn't know for sure till Monday... which one she had... but she already had a pretty good idea... so did I... 

Honeybear and I left that day, knowing we would never be back. There would be no chemo for her... not even very much time... We stopped on our way home, and got a quarterpounder with cheese and Honeybear and I split that. She thought that was some pretty terrific stuff... let me tell you.... Then we got out and walked in the grass and talked some more. Had some lovely conversations. Then got back in the van, and even discussed getting another burger, but decided we better head for home. We still had a drive ahead of us. I know she was hurting, and not feeling well. She had been poked and prodded, met a ton of new people, finally got something to eat, and I am still thankful she felt like eating. She finally slept some the rest of the way home....

We came home and talked to my husband, and Charlie... our other dog... I got out a box of Frosty Paws and they had a really good time with those...  

On Saturday Honeybear had another bad night.. She seemed to have it a little easier in the mornings, the afternoons got bad and the evenings a lot worse. They had given me some Bupra-Morphine that was to be injected into her gums (there is no needle),  so I gave her a shot of that on Saturday night. She didn't want to have anything to do with me for a good hour or more after that... and she wouldn't drink water. The only way she would take water is if it came from my hands. But she wouldn't let me around her after giving her that stuff. It did not help her pain, it did not make her sleep, it only seemed to agitate her....

Dr. Nolan called me on Monday and confirmed it was Malignant Histiocytosis... She was so very sorry to have to tell me that... She also called our vet here, and we got a different morphine for Honeybear, a little pill I could give her, that was strong enough to help her...

I had made the decision on Friday the 21st to have Dr. Russell, come ome here to the house... I couldn't make her suffer any more, and the new morphine medicine we got just zonked her out. I didn't want her living like that. Didn't want her to hurt and suffer at all.  So I made the call...

I laid there with Honeybear for a good while that morning, then got up to get dressed, and turned around, and there she is, standing at the end of the hall... wagging her tail at me... smiling away... I said...well... look at you, darling... and she ran and hopped up on the couch and went swimming away... I went over and loved on her, and thought my gosh... has something happened... have my prayers been answered?? She jumped up off the couch and got one of her furry squeaky toys and squeaked it over and over at me... and we played chase around the coffeetable... then she wanted to go outside... I opened the back door and out we all went... Charlie, Honeybear and me. She had been enjoying laying on the cool porch lately... and she laid down out there for awhile. Well, you guessed it.... I came in and called the vet back, and said I would probably regret it, but I needed to cancel that appointment.  

Later on in the afternoon, on that Friday, around 3 or a little later, Honeybear and Charlie both jumped up, and went and chased a squirrel. Honeybear ran all the way out to that tree with Charlie, then turned and looked at me with the oddest look in her face. She walked on out to the back part of the yard, to where Thunder is buried... He was another Golden Retriever I had for 12 years before he died... and Honeybear just stood there for about 5 minutes... I went out there with her, and just watched her. It was so very odd. Then she went on around the walkway and looked for some grass to chew. She went on up across the backyard, back up onto the porch and sat on the blanket and she was looking at me again with such a strange expression on her face. I got up close to her and asked her what was wrong, and she started shaking. I noticed her mouth first, then the whole right side of her body, and she collapsed right there in my arms... I held her and held her, and got her all the way down, and told her to stay there I needed to call daddy... and ran to get the cordless phone... I got John on the phone and told him something had happened to come home right now... and held her tightly... talked to her, and no response.. Her head hanging over to the side... When John got home, Charlie ran to meet him and one of Honeybears eyes rolled back down... but she still did not move... John got to the back door and said something to her, and all of a sudden... she leapt from my arms and ran to John... wagging her tail and happy as could be... I could not breath... I could not talk, and I honestly think my heart had absolutley stopped beating... I was amazed by her again and again.. that is the only word I can use... she was truly the most amazing sweetheart in the world...  John stayed home for over an hour and she was fine... she ate, she played, and she laid down and rested... He thought maybe she had had some kind of seizure... but whatever it was passed, thank GOD... and there she was...

Then on Friday night she had another bad night, and again I gave her the morphine pill. She was drugged up till later in the day on Saturday. She didn't eat over an ounce of food on Saturday and that day was really painful for her. She was dehydrating, and not getting nearly enough water from my hands to take care of her. Saturday night I made another call to the vet. I didn't really have a choice... she was suffering so... and she was trying so hard to still have some life... she would give all she had to give, till she was exhausted. Anything she could do to make someone smile, if you asked her to do something she would do it. Truly an amazing girl. If humans could have only a tiny bit of what all of these dogs have, this world would be such a better place...  

Although Honeybear's little body was dying, her heart and her spirit just wouldn't give up... She was a fighter... So when I talked to the vet on Saturday night, we decided on him coming after church on the next day. I would have had him come right then if I had known the kind of night she would have... every time she moved she would moan, and she never cried out... I gave her water over and over from my hands, but it wasn't' enough, and she jaundiced during the night. But on Sunday morning, here she was. ready to eat, some chicken. We went out on the back porch and I took chicken and cheese and her favorite treats and some fresh water... We had a doggie picnic... twice... I went in and got more, because she enjoyed it so... We went for a little short walk just in the front yard.  She watched the butterflies and the birds and then she met Dr. Stout at the front door... I know he must have thought we were looney for calling him about her... There she stood smiling, wagging her tail... and then here she went and jumped up on the couch again... all happy... I explained to Dr. Stout that she had moments like this, then she was hurting again... and told him that she had jaundiced during the night... When he examined her, he was amazed, too, that she was doing all that she was... and asked where we were going to do it... Earlier in the day, my husband had asked me if I had picked out a toy to be buried with her... I said yes, her porcupine... do you know, that she got up from laying there, and got up ran around the table got between us and squeaked her moose at us... If it hadn't been so tragic, it was the oddest thing... She knew exactly what we were talking about...  

So her moose is buried with her in our backyard by Thunder (our other departed Golden)... I held her in my arms and promised I would never leave her... that I would join her one day... that I loved her, always had and always would, that she would always be my sweet darlin' girl... My honeybear...  my love... with the sweetest brown eyes in the world... and I miss her so...    

Honeybear was owned and loved by Vicki and John White

Naar onze Histio website in het Nederlands